pissedachios:

pissedachios:

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

oh sheet

meladoodle:

what do you mean a thesaurus isnt a dinosaur

vunes:

I wish I was a flower they are pretty and don’t do anything

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

starlingsparrow:

do you ever meet someone who’s like the human version of unnecessary comments on a text post

lordoftheinternet:

whoever discovered popcorn must have been really fucking freaked out

starlightlady:

there is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face